Letters
by whiteswan
Summary: Nine months after the death of Red Impulse, the team gets an unexpected, revealing delivery. Rated for minor cussing.
1. Prologue

Letters

Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine. I can dream though.

Prologue

Kentaro left his men behind at the door to his quarters and entered the room, needing some time to himself. After setting aside his flight helmet, he laid back on his bunk, hands behind his head, staring into space. Things had come to a head faster than he ever expected and he knew it would all end, one way or another, tomorrow. Through his flight suit, he could feel the abnormally high temperatures caused by the Van Allen Belts' descent towards the Earth. He sighed and abruptly pushed himself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. All the sacrifices, the years of work and he'd still not been able to prevent this from happening. But he'd be damned if he'd let it succeed.

Restlessly, he paced to the window, deep in thought. As he gazed out at the red sky, he acknowledged the thought that had been nagging him for the last two days. This was going to be his last mission. He acknowledged that and accepted it in the same heartbeat. But as he turned from the window, his eyes fell on his flight helmet, and the two pictures tucked into it's lining. One of a small family of three: man, wife and a little boy. The other of five young people, four boys and a girl, and a bespectacled man watching over them. He gave a rueful smile. The bad part about accepting the end of things was you also had to acknowledge what you had done and what you had failed to do. Rare was the man who died with no regrets, and Kentaro Washio was about as far from that man as anyone could be.

He took the photographs and laid them on the desk, letting memories go through his mind. Joy, sorrow, pride and more were represented here. His gaze focused on the child in the first picture, then slid to it's older counterpart in the second. So much he'd have loved to tell his son. He looked at the other figures in the picture. So much he'd have loved to tell all of them. He focused on the man with the glasses and his friend's voice rang through his mind, _'You stubborn idiot, tell him. You could at least write it down for him to read when the time is right.'_

Kentaro chuckled wryly as he sat down and pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. Kozaburo would never let him hear the end of it if he knew that he was about to take his advice. But his friend was currently locked in a room with a bunch of political idiots. A room he'd locked himself, unable to be opened until the team and Kentaro either stopped the Plan or they were all dead anyways. '_Damn fool is as crazy as I am.' _The five were God only knew where, four of them searching for the fifth, and all of them for a way to end this current threat. He knew he'd be out there again himself soon, but for now, he was going to write down what he wanted to tell each of the people in his life. He wasn't going to have another chance.

He looked at the picture of the group again. A grinning ten year old was sitting on a heavy set boy's shoulders, having just slammed a volley ball over a net to the blue clad teen on the other side. Kentaro smiled, remembering the Sicilian curses that had poured out of his mouth when he'd missed the shot. Another boy and a girl, both in red, sat on the sidelines, laughing at some shared joke as they watched the game. Nambu sat behind them, smiling as he watched them play. _'You'd never suspect that they wear wings and face death on a regular basis, would you?' _"No you wouldn't, my friend," Kentaro quietly answered the long ago question. He'd been the one to take that picture, right before his friend had seen him and joined him, asking that question. And, come to think of it, he'd answered the same way then as he just did now.

The Red Impulse leader sat staring blankly at the pad in front of him for several minutes. So much to say and no clue where to begin. Glancing back at the pictures, his eyes focused on the girl sitting next to his son. "Might as well start with the easiest one first.' He sorted his thoughts and began to write.

Several hours later, he labeled and sealed the last envelope. Leaning back in his chair, he sighed and passed a hand over his eyes. It had been a long time since he'd been that open with what he was feeling and it was more exhausting than he remembered. He could only hope that they would understand, and maybe in time, forgive him.

Rising from his chair, he picked up the envelopes and went to the door, going out to join his men. He handed the envelopes to Masake, who looked at him and asked, "Kentaro?" Oniishi made a questioning gesture.

Quietly, Kentaro made a request of them, "If the worst happens tomorrow, give those to Nambu and his team, nine months from now. The one to the team, give to my son. Look after them for me."

Both men nodded, and Masake replied, "Rodger that sir. We will." Oniishi signed his agreement.

Kentaro smiled at both of them. "We've been together a long time and I couldn't have asked for better friends. In case I don't get to say it again, take care of yourselves."

This said, Kentaro let his normal cool expression slide back into place. "Gentlemen, its time to plan out how we're going to back the team up on this one. The floor is open for suggestions..."

The next day, the Van Allen belts were pushed back into their rightful position by a rocket piloted by the Red Impulse leader. In the process, eight peoples' lives had a familiar figure ripped from them, never to be quite the same again.

Nine months later, the two remaining members of the Red Impulse squadron took the letters from their place in Kentaro's old office. Donning civilian clothes, they left to carry out their friend and leader's final request of them.

(This was inspired by a remark during an RPG with Dan. Nambu told Jun that he'd received a letter from Red Impulse as how to not ruin a good thing. From that line came this story. Thanks for the inspiration Danny.)


	2. Swan

Chapter 1 Swan

Disclaimer: They're still not mine, dammit. Tatsunoko Productions has that honour.

1Jun was cleaning up the kitchen when she heard a knock at the back door of the Snack J. When she peeked out, she was surprised to see the two remaining members of the Red Impulse squadron standing there in civilian clothing. They had been a rare sight since the death of their leader, Kentaro Washio.

Slipping out into the alleyway, she glanced around then asked, "What are you two doing here? Is something wrong? The Commander isn't here right now, do you need me to call him?

Oniishi shook his head and handed her an envelope as Masake explained, "That's from Red Impulse, he wrote it just before he died and asked us to give it to you today. Take care, you'll see us when you need us."

Jun glanced down at the envelope in her hand and when she looked back up the two men were gone. She shook her head and went back inside, thinking, 'I hate it when they do that.'

Jun went back into the Snack and passed her younger brother Jinpei on her way up the stairs, ignoring his puzzled expression at her obvious distraction. When she reached her room, she shut the door and sat on the bed, slowly turning the envelope in her hands and studying it. Finally, she broke the seal and unfolded the pages inside. She began to read, hearing Kentaro's voice in her mind as she read:

_Jun, _

_By now I'm sure you know who I really am. I know Nambu won't have kept that secret, if he even waits until I'm actually gone to tell you. He wouldn't leave Ken with the false hope of my being alive once I was truly dead. Knowing you, you're probably ready to kick my ass for keeping the fact that I am his father from Ken. I had my reasons. I'm not saying they were right, but I had them. I hated leaving him like I did, but my sense of duty would not allow me to do otherwise._ _Rather ironic isn't it, that one of the traits I often despise most in myself is the one I passed on to my son?_

_I know you're wondering why I'm telling you this, rather than my son. Don't worry, I'll tell him as well. But knowing him, he will not believe me. The boy's as hard headed as his father, much as I hate to admit it. But you understand him best, and I hope that you will understand this, and be able to help him understand. I never wanted to hurt him. He's my son, and despite what anyone may believe because of my actions, I do love him. I know you do as well, so I hope you can make him see the truth, even if he resists at first. Consider it an old soldier's last request of you. I know this mission's going to be my last one. I've accepted that, and can only hope that my letters will help heal the wounds I know I've left behind, unintentional though they may be. _

_I also know how you feel about Ken. I'm not blind, though Kozaburo may be. And I support it. You're good for him, you bring out a side of him that he would normally hide. He loves you as well. You may not believe me, but he does. Oh, he may not show it, his sense of duty causes him to hide it, but it shows sometimes. Just not in front of you. I saw it clear as day several times, but most clearly when those damned Jigokillers attacked. Sorry, I know I probably just brought up bad memories there, but it is true. You know from the mission reports that he dropped the fuel from his plane onto the field to burn it. What you may not know is that he was nearly the missile that ignited the whole thing. The others stopped him. Believe this: he wasn't preparing to dive into that field because of duty, but because he couldn't even consider continuing the fight without you. I heard his scream when the flowers burned and it chilled me to the bone. The thought that he'd given the order that cost your life had him in a state I've never seen before. I even went to the airfield to try and kick him out of his depression, but it didn't do much good. He was nowhere near himself, not even when I goaded him. The only thing that pulled him out of it was your signal. _

_I also know he takes you on missions with him quite often. There are two reasons for that. Once of which is your abilities, which I would never discount. But the other, I believe, is that he feels that if he has to give his life, he wants you to be the last one he sees. And that if you both have to go, then at least you'd die together. He does love you. I may not be able to leave you much, but I can at least give you that assurance._

_I used to wonder sometimes why Nambu allowed you to be on the team. But as I watched you and the others grow together, I stopped questioning the wisdom of his decision. Not only are you a great asset for your skills, but more importantly, you are the heart of the team, the one that keeps them together and grounded. Don't ever lose that heart._

_Take care of yourself Jun. I wish I could be there to see you and Ken get married, have children, and live the life you deserve. I would have loved to have you for a daughter. My men are there to back you up when you need them, and Sayuri and I will be watching over you all. Sayonara._

_Kentaro_

Jun just sat there for a time, rereading the letter, tears pouring silently down her face. Jinpei, worried by her long absence from the Snack, came up to check on her. When she didn't answer his knock, he cracked open the door and saw her sitting on the bed crying. He shut the door quietly and went back downstairs, wondering just what to do. He hated it when she cried, especially since he didn't know why. Ken came into the J and saw the child's worried expression. When he glanced around and didn't see Jun in the shop, he asked him, "Oi, Jinpei, what's the matter? Where's your sister? You aren't fighting again are you?" Jinpei looked at him and shook his head, "No aniki, we haven't fought. But I am worried about Oneechan. She's upstairs, reading something, and it's got her really upset. She didn't even hear me when I went up to check on her. Think you can find out what's wrong?" Ken nodded at the boy and ruffled his hair before going to the stairs that led to their living area above the shop. He took them two at a time and came to a stop in front of Jun's door. He knocked quietly and said, "Jun? It's Ken. May I come in?"

1Jun hastily tucked the letter under the comforter and attempted to wipe the tears from her cheeks before facing her Commander. "Ken, come in."

The Gatchaman leader came in and sat next to her, easily spotting the tear stains she tried to hide from him behind her hair. "Jun, what's wrong? Jinpei said you were upset over something. He's worried about you. Is there anything I can do to help?" When she didn't say anything, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him, "C'mon Junnie, you're scaring me here, please talk to me."

As she felt his arm go around her, Jun lost the fight to keep her tears in check. She leaned on him and sobbed into his shoulder, suddenly unable to stop crying. She cried for Kentaro who regretted so much, for Nambu who lost his best friend. For Ken who would have given anything to share the moments in his life with his father. For all of them.

Ken still had no idea what had upset her so much, and had no idea how to comfort her, so he just held her patiently while she wept and waited for her to cry it all out.

After a few minutes, her tears began to slow and as they did, Jun came to a decision. She wouldn't tell Ken about the letter, not yet. The pain of Katse's trick was still to fresh, and she didn't want to bring up memories unnecessarily. When he was ready, she would show it to him. She whispered a quiet promise to Kentaro against his son's shoulder, "I will."

Ken felt her relax and reluctantly allowed his arm to slip from her shoulders as she drew away from him. She passed a hand over her eyes and gave him what she hoped looked like a reassuring smile. "I'm alright, Ken. Just memories. Sorry to have worried you. Come on, let's go back downstairs, I'll get you a soda." She palmed the letter from under the comforter and rose to place it in her desk, then waited for him to join her.

Ken knew she wasn't telling him everything, but decided not to push the issue. She would tell him when she was ready. He nodded and rose to follow her downstairs, back to the usual roles they played.

Toreen: Sorry it took so long but here's more for you. Hope you enjoyed it.  
  
GoldAngel12: agreed. My impression of Red Impulse was always that of a man who knew he'd made mistakes but didn't know how to make them right. Pride and duty always seemed to get in the way. But he does care about his son. That is what I'm trying to bring out here.  
  
Hopefully now that this story has been given a paddle shock back into my brain again, I should have the next letter out soon. Thanks for reading.


	3. Nambu

1Chapter 2 Nambu

Disclaimer: If I owned Gatchaman, the Ken/Jun situation would have been solved a LONG time ago. So needless to say, I don't.

Kozaburo Nambu looked up form the report he was reading as someone knocked on his office door, and called out, "Enter!" He was surprised to see Oniishi and Masake slip into the room. He rose from his desk to greet them. "This is a surprise gentlemen. What can I do for you?"

Masake shook his head, "Nothing my friend. We came by to give you this." He handed the scientist an envelope. "Kentaro asked us to give this to you. Call us if you need us." The two men slipped out of the room, leaving Nambu to stare at the missive in his hand.

He sat heavily on the nearby couch, elbows resting on his knees for a few minutes before he hesitantly broke the envelope's seal and pulled out the paper inside. Memories flooded his mind as his eyes scanned the familiar handwriting.

_Hello old friend, _

_Well, you're reading this so I have to assume that things turned out like I expected them to. Yeah, I know that this is going to be my last mission. Even I can't keep dodging death forever. Bet you're glad to finally have this old thorn out of your side. _

Nambu smiled wryly, "A thorn you could be my friend, but a welcome one. Damn Washio sense of humor." He continued reading.

_Now that I have your undivided attention for once, I'm going to take the opportunity to tell you a few things I've had on my mind. We've been through a lot together Koz, to hell and back. You were the best damned gunner I ever had, even under that stuffy scholar's mask you like to wear. Not to mention my best friend. We've raised our share of hell together, we've watched each other's backs. You were my best man, and godfather to my son. You were next to me when he was born and raised him when I left. I don't know if I ever thanked you for watching over my family for me. If not, then I do now. You took care of Sayuri when I should have been there, and you raised Ken to be a man I'm proud of. I could never repay you for that._

_You know better than anyone that I've done a lot I regret. And a lot I regret not doing. I regret leaving my family, even though it couldn't be helped. I regret not being there when Sayuri was ill. I regret having to watch Ken grow up from a distance, through your letters and pictures, rather than being there for everything. Although you've raised him better than I ever could have. I regret not being able to stop this war before it got to the point where our kids were involved. I regret not telling Ken that I was his father, and spending time with him as a parent, rather than an occasional, irritating comrade. And I regret that I won't be there to see him and the others live the lives they deserve when it's all over._

_Quite the list isn't it, and that's only part of it. I can't change any of it now however. I only hope that in time I'll be forgiven for the decisions I've made. They may not have been good decisions, but they were what I felt was necessary. Hell, how many times have we had that discussion over the years? Dozens I suppose. You probably think I didn't listen to you all those times you said I should tell Ken who I was, that he'd understand why I did what I did. I listened, but I was afraid. _

_Yes, you heard me right, I was afraid. I was afraid to see disappointment in my son's eyes when he looked at me. I've failed him as a father, so many times over I've lost count. I failed Sayuri. Hell, I even failed you. Right now I piss Ken off on a regular basis, but he still thinks of me as a hero. And I'd rather he looks at me as the heroic pilot than the father who failed. _

_Oh, I know you'll tell him who I am after I'm gone, you won't let him live with false hope. Don't you dare try to take the blame for not telling him and have Joe or Jun kick some sense into him if he tries to blame you. It was my decision and my blame to take. His not knowing until after I'm gone will just be one more thing to add to my list. At least I won't have to see the disappointment in his eyes. _

_You've done a great job with those kids of yours Koz. Every one of them. Don't pass out from shock now, I'm serious. Ken's matured into an able leader, and a man I'm proud to call my son. Joe, despite his attitude, is far more mature than he lets on to be and a far better man than he would have been without your guidance. Jun's turned into a remarkable young woman and warrior. You do realize that you're probably lucky you haven't had to bail one of the boys out of jail for kicking some unsuspecting idiot's ass because they flirted with her, correct? Jinpei's remarkably normal for a child his age who's seen as much as he has. I contribute a lot of that to you. And Ryu has grown more confident in himself and his abilities through you than he ever could have on his own. You've got a great group of kids there, every one of whom regard you as a father in one way, shape or form. Take it from one who regrets losing that privilege, cherish it. _

_And lastly, I'm going to give you a little advice. Now normally I'd be the last one to attempt to give parenting advice to someone else, but this is on an issue you seem blind to. Things happen for a reason my friend. Years ago I questioned your sanity when you told me you were putting a girl on the team. And for a long time I still doubted the idea, even though Jun proved herself as well as the boys. But we both know now that she's the heart of the team. She's a sister to Ryu and is the one that Joe trusts most. She's both mother and sister to Jinpei. These things you know. But what you don't seem to see is that there's a bond between her and Ken that is very strong. I'm not talking that of a sister and brother either, or of teammates and friends, it goes much deeper than that. The word love describes it well enough._

The normally composed scientist's jaw dropped and a loud, "What the hell?" escaped him, causing his alarmed assistant to look into the room to see what was wrong. He waved her out, trying to comprehend what he'd just read. Kentaro had to have been joking, there were no signs of anything like that between Ken and Jun. Regulations forbid any romantic relationships between team members. He'd made that clear to Ken and Joe both when Jun had joined the team. He continued reading, hoping to read something to help him dispute that last statement.

_Listen to me my friend, you know I'm right about this. Either one would take a bullet for the other in a heartbeat, and the loss of one would probably mean the loss of the other soon after. It almost happened once before, remember? Not that either one will admit it, duty and regulations keep it out of the open. Most of the time. But that's not going to last forever. I may have passed my 'duty before all else' attitude onto Ken, much to my regret sometimes, but even that won't hold things back forever. What's meant to happen will happen. My advice to you: when it does, don't try to stop it. Make the possible repercussions clear by all means, but don't try to stop it. If it goes that far, they'd just go behind your back anyways if you forbid it, and the rest of the team would help them. Save yourself a lot of headaches and just support it and be glad for them. They deserve some happiness in this insane life we all live._

_Good luck to you my friend, and take care. Keep up the good fight, don't let the enemy win. And I ask you one more time to watch over Ken. He's all yours now Koz. Take care of him for me. Sayuri and I will be waiting for you, but you better not join us for a damned long time. Sayonara, and thank you._

_Kentaro_

Nambu sat back and absently refolded the letter, lost in thought. Now just how the hell to deal with this little piece of news?

GoldAngel2: I cringe every time I watch those episodes and hear him scream. I'm hoping to acquire the II and F episodes just for the perspective on their interaction. The only dub I saw did no justice. Hope you liked this chapter.

Faux Fox: Thanks, that's the reaction I was going for!

Denise Allen: Glad you like the story. I'll update again as soon as I can wrestle another chapter out of Impulse. He's damn stubborn!

Two down, four to go! Condor's is up next...God help us all...Ja ne!


	4. Condor

Chapter 3 Condor

Disclaimer: Once again, I can only dream of owning the bird-people. They belong to Tatsunoko Productions.

Joe Asakura pulled off his helmet and waved briefly to the crowd. First place again, not too shabby. A couple more races like this and his rank would be locked for the year. As long as that purple freak kept his damned toys out of everyone's face for a little while that is.

As he turned to head towards the pit, his eye was caught by a familiar figure in the stands. What the hell? None of the others had come to this race. He looked closer and recognized Oniishi watching him. What the fuck was the Red Impulse squad doing here? He rose in his seat, ready to jump out and question the man when Oniishi flipped him a quick salute of acknowledgment, then ducked into the crowd. Joe shook his head and drove to the pit. What the hell was going on? He brushed off his pit chief's offer of going for a drink to celebrate the victory, saying he would be around later. His mind was distracted by the unexpected visitor, and he nearly called Ken to find out if anything unusual was going on today, then decided against it. He was being left alone for once, why invite trouble?

He parked his car next to his trailer and slowly went inside. He was dead tired, it'd been a long day. He reached into the fridge for a beer, intent on passing out for a couple of hours before joining his crew. He popped the tab and nearly choked on the first gulp of liquid when he spotted the envelope lying on the counter at his elbow. How the hell did that get in here? He caught his breath then picked it up and studied it carefully before opening it. What was this? His eyes narrowed and he recalled seeing Oniishi at the track. One hand unfolded the sheet of paper as the other automatically strayed towards the hidden pocket on his pants. Was this why he'd been at the race? His jaw nearly dropped in surprise as he read the letter's greeting. Only one person could manage to convey that sarcastic tone even on paper.

_Hello Joe, _

_Before you either tear this up or riddle it with those shuriken you love so much, sit down, shut up and listen for a minute, I have a few things to say to you. You can do whatever you like to this letter...after you read the entire damned thing. Now sit down._

For the first time in his life, Joe followed Red Impulse's orders without hesitation or argument.The bed beneath him groaned as he collapsed heavily onto it and continued to read, his beer forgotten on the counter

_Now that I have your attention, we're going to have ourselves a little chat. For once I'm going to talk and you're going to listen. Guess there really is a first time for everything. _

_Sarcasm aside Joe, there are some things I want to say to you. First off is thank you. You've kept Ken from getting himself killed on more than one occasion. I owe you for that. I'll owe you even more if you can manage to help him get his head out of his ass on a few things. Although if you're reading this, don't expect to collect any time soon. _

_Second thing is that I'm glad to see the man you've turned into. You haven't changed much from that scrawny little kid that Nambu picked up on the beach that day. You're still as much of an ornery cuss as you were when you nearly bit my hand when I helped him patch you up. Don't worry, I don't hold it against you. You've exceeded my expectations of you, and they were higher than you probably think. Sure I picked on you and the others, but it did it's job didn't it? Pissed you off, made you work harder, just so you could shove your success in my face. And you did admirably. I'm proud of you._

_You remember that nickname you gave me years ago? Rat Bastard, I believe, was the term you coined. You probably thought I'd forgotten about that one didn't you? Sorry Condor, wishful thinking. I never did call you on that one either. I never held it against you either, it fit too well sometimes. _

_Now, let's get past the macho acting and take a good look at a few things. You need to realize that without you, my son would be a stressed out wreck. You're the one who helps him see everything from both sides, in your own uniquely irritating way at times. And you provide the way to vent his frustration at times before it eats him up completely. Jinpei, though he may be a terror at worst and a pest at best, worships you, even though you tend to use him as a joke prop. Jun values you as the one she can talk to about anything. You're the rock in her life. And Ryu...well, keep hanging around him and sooner or later you're bound to get civilized. _

_If you do catch Katse one of these days, do me a favor and tell him how much I wish I could have killed him myself before you blow his brains out. _

_And lastly, love the family you have and don't let anything, even yourself, come between all of you. Take care Joe._

_Kentaro Washio_

Joe laid back on his bed, somewhere between a state of disbelief and feeling straight out grief that Red Impulse wasn't around so he could give him hell over this letter. He thought about pinning it to the wall with a shuriken just on the principle of it, but instead merely got up and crossed the two steps to the counter to retrieve his beer. He placed the letter in a drawer then, lifting the drink in a brief salute to the departed pilot he smirked, "Fly safe you old bastard. I'll pass on the message."He downed the rest of the beer then left to join his crew. He had a reputation to uphold.

Author's Notes: I owe my undying thanks to my onisan for helping me with this chapter. Red Impulse decided to take a leave of absence from talking to me, leaving me halfway through a letter and rather ticked off, so big brother dragged him back for me and helped finish it off. I also have to thank Alondra for the constant encouragement and for her assessment of Joe's reactions to this piece...the Condor is more her area of expertise than mine, and the input is invaluable. As always, constructive criticism is appreciated, praise will be enjoyed and any flames will be used to give Katse a major hot foot when I next tackle a battle fic.

Gold Angel: Once again, thank you for the wonderful review...I always look forward to seeing what you have to say. If I get hold of Gatch II or F, you'll be the first one I email.

Faux Fox: Thank you very much for the encouragement. Nambu's a tough one, you never know how he's going to react to certain things. Hope you enjoyed Joe's reactions...I had to edit his language a bit at (shakes head)  Jinpei's is up next. God help us all...

To anyone who may have read and not reviewed, I hope you enjoy this story. There are four letters left to go. Ja ne! Whiteswan


	5. Kagaku Ninja Tai

1Chapter 6 Kagaku Ninja Tai Gatchaman

Disclaimer: (sigh) Here we go again. The KNT and all related characters belong to Tatsunoko Productions.

Ken pulled up to the hanger at the airfield and parked his bike with a sigh. It had been long day already, and it was only mid-afternoon. His mind was still half at the J, concerned over his teammate; what in the world had gotten her so upset? It wasn't like Jun to just break down crying like that. Then to have Joe stomp in, more surly than usual and immediately demand a hard drink as well as to see Jun hand it over without question, only added to his confusion. Joe had won his race today, they'd seen the report on the afternoon news. So what the hell was his problem? And Jun rarely gave in to that demand from any of them without questioning the reason behind it. What the hell was going on? He sighed once more, it was days like this that he really wished he could read his teammates' minds. It would make things a whole lot simpler.

He'd pocketed the keys to the bike and was about to head to the house when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Someone was watching him. Spinning on one heel, hands already in fists, he scanned the hanger yard before his gaze homed in on the familiar silhouette standing in the shadow of the house. For a brief moment a wild thought went through his mind as he registered the familiar shape of the flight helmet, 'Otosan?' He shook off the thought and approached the figure, finally recognizing Masaki's slightly grizzled features as he stepped from the shadows. Nodding slightly in greeting to his father's old comrade, he questioned, "What are you doing here?"

The older man chuckled a bit, "Came here to give you something, young one. Your father left these with us, and he wanted you to have them." Masaki handed the now startled young commander a pair of identical envelopes, "He wrote those the day before he died, told us to give them to you today. Take care of yourself Ken, we'll see you around."

Ken started to call after him as he walked back into the shadows and disappeared, but instead bit his tongue to keep the questions inside. Instead he studied the envelopes he now held. The handwriting was unfamiliar, in his memory he'd never seen his father's writing before. The front of one carried his name in a heavy masculine script, the other simply read 'Kagaku Ninja Tai.' His brow furrowed in thought as he made his way back into the house, and sat down, feet up on the radio table as he continued to stare at the missives, half lost in thought. A part of him longed to open them, to see what his father had written that last evening. And another part of him feared those same words. He'd finally come to terms with his parent's death, and did not want to reopen any of the wounds he'd finally managed to patch up; they were still raw and easily reopened. So for the moment, he did nothing but look at the envelopes, at least until a familiar beeping broke though his reverie, "G1 here."

Nambu's voice came through the link, and to Ken's ear even his sounded off today, "There's been an attack on our uranium storage facility in Indonesia. Nothing was stolen, but the facility was heavily damaged. You are to find the mecha and destroy it at once."

His usual cool demeanor already in place, Ken replied with the standard, "Roger. G1 out." He pulled on his flight gloves as he raced to his plane, not noticing that he had subconsciously scooped up the envelopes on his way out the door. Once in the air and above the clouds he gave the familiar command, "Bird Go!" Time for action.

Hours later, he climbed out of the cockpit of his jet aboard great Phoenix, and sighed as he made his way to the bridge. Another mission accomplished, and hopefully, a large blow delivered to Galactor. Unfortunately, Katse had escaped their grasp once again. He took his seat in the command chair at the front of the ship as Ryu set the coordinates into the computer to return them to Crescent Coral for debriefing. He was brought out of his thoughts as their youngest team member piped up from behind him, "Hey aniki, what's that in your hand?"

He glanced down and realized that he was holding the letters from his father. He must have picked them up on his way out of the jet. He tucked the one addressed to him alone into the back of his uniform belt, then turned in his seat to face the rest of his team, "I had a visit from Masaki earlier today just before we were called. My father left us all a letter before he died and he gave it to me today." He failed to notice that Joe and Jun did not look at all surprised by this announcement, unlike the other two. His gaze focused on the envelope once more as his brain somewhat registered the half heartedly sarcastic comment Jinpei made about 'wonder what that ol' jerk had to say' and the resulting helmet slap that could have only come from Joe. He smiled faintly at the boy's obvious curiosity and Joe's unusual step in subduing him. He slipped a gloved finger under the flap to break the seal as Ryu set the ship on auto pilot for the time being and the four gathered around to silently listen as he read the letter aloud.

_Hello Ninjas, _

_Well, this is sayonara kids. I've done my share of pissing you all off, and you've all come out the better for it, whether you want to admit it or not. But it's time for someone else to take over that role now. However, I will leave you all with some advice._

_Ryu, you're one of the best pilots I've met of any age. Don't doubt yourself or your_ _abilities. Your teammates believe in you, as do Nambu and I. All you have to do is believe in yourself._

Ryu flushed a bit under his visor and looked down, slightly embarrassed. Jun gave his shoulder a light squeeze and a smile as Ken continued to read.

_Jinpei, you're growing up to be a fine young ninja, as well as a young man who's doing very well in the adult world he's been made to see way too soon. A small piece of advice, if you act mature, you'll be treated that way much faster. I know it isn't easy, being the youngest, but give it a try. You might be surprised._

The Swallow's chest puffed up a bit at the praise, before his face took on a slightly confused look, wondering if he should take that last part as an insult. Another light bop to the helmet had him looking up at Joe's smirk, "Just take it at face value kid."

"Be quiet, Joe-aniki. Wonder what he had to say to you."

"Shut up and listen then."

Ken rolled his eyes and continued reading, glancing up at Jun in mild curiosity as he read the next line;

_Jun, remember what I said. Try to keep the boys in line, hit them in necessary. Hard._

That got a muffled giggle from Jun as well as a threatening glare in Joe's direction. He backed away a bit, not willing to be the first victim of that order.

_Joe, try not to kill Nambu just yet. I want him to live to see Ken's kids._

At this Ken flushed a bit, as did Jun, while Joe began to roar with laughter. The other two boys' snickers had Ken hurrying to continue, before he got any redder and someone noticed it under his visor tinting.

_Ken, don't make the same mistakes I did. Devotion to duty is an honorable thing, but try to remember to allow yourself to be a human being as well._

He filed that comment in the back of his mind to consider later as he read the closing.

_Take care of yourselves and each other. I'm proud of you all. Fly safe, I'll be watching over you._

_Kentaro_

The five stood for a few minutes, each in their own thoughts regarding the letter's words and advice. The silence was broken by the auto pilot's signal of their approach to the Crescent base, and they resumed their usual positions for the docking. As they disembarked, Jinpei risked a question, "Hey aniki, what was the other envelope?" only to be hushed by his sister with an admonishment to mind his own business. Ken rubbed the boy's helmet but did not reply as they made their way up to Nambu's office for debriefing. The letter remained in his belt. He would think about that later. Maybe.

A/N: Arigato for your patience minna-san. Sorry this took so long, Kentaro decided he needed a mid winter break and then school caught up with me. I hope to finish this one off soon, so I can concentrate on my other stories. Ja ne.

Gold Angel: As always, your words of encouragement helped me get through this chapter. You made me blush this time. And yes, I think that a stand off between Kentaro and Joe would have turned into one of the biggest stalemates in history. Talk to you soon.

BrennaM:Thank you so much. Hope this lived up to standard.

Female Heero Yuy: Thanks! Kentaro surprised me with a bit of humor in that chapter and again in this one. Hope you liked.

Faux Fox: If my writing sends anyone back to their DVDs, then I have accomplished my goal! lol. Hope you had fun at the convention. Sorry this took so long.

Dyrne-Faemne: Thank you. Ken's is going to be the hardest one. And I haven't forgotten you, real life has just kept me hopping lately. I'll email you ASAP.

Moonjava: Glad you're enjoying the story. Please hang in, one chapter left to go.

Denise Allen: Thanks for the support. I'll have to look for that fic after I finish this one. Bar Red deciding to leave me in the lurch again, Ken's should be up soon. Ja.


	6. Eagle

Chapter 5 Eagle

We have now come at last to the end of this story. I know it has been some time since the last letter but I will admit, this was difficult to write. I hope it is worth the wait.

Disclaimer: The KNT are not mine, but Tatsunoko's and now ADV's

Ken sighed as he pocketed the keys to his motorcycle and dismounted. The ever present wind blew his dark hair across his face as he slowly made his way up the hill. Kneeling before a familiar stone, he traced the carved lines of the fighter jet engraved on it before sitting down next to it. Pulling the letter he'd been given from his pocket, he studied the writing on the front for the thousandth time. The contents of this envelope had been weighing heavily on his mind for the last three days. Days he had avoided his teammates and mentor while he ran an entire gamut of emotions: fear, anger, sorrow, curiosity...and he had yet to even break the seal on the envelope. In truth a part of him feared to. While his logical brain told him that it shouldn't be anything cruel or horrible, that his father would not have left something like that behind, his heart was still uncertain. The contents of this letter could either be the salve needed to soothe the scars of his father's death, or rip them wide open once more, never to heal again. With a heavy sigh and the cool feel of granite against his back, he finally slid a finger under the envelope's flap and broke the seal. Taking a deep breath he unfolded the pages and began to read.

_My son, _

_Believe it or not, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've tried to write this so many times over the years, only to throw the paper, still blank, into the trash. What I'm about to say, you may not believe, and at times I have difficulty believing it myself. But whatever you think, I want you to know that I love you, and I always have. The decisions I've made, whether they turned out to be the right ones or not, were always made with your safety in mind. I never wanted to see anything happen to you. _

_I remember the day that you were born; how proud and nervous I was as I watched you come into this world. You were so indignant, screaming at the top of your lungs. Kozaburo said it was quite obvious that you had inherited my temper. I adored watching you gow and learn, you were always so curious about everything around you. Seeing you toddle towards me when I came home, hearing you call me 'oto' for the first time...these are some of the best memories I have, ones that have gotten me through these last fifteen years. Son, those years I had with you and your mother were the best ones of my life. I had a beautiful wife and a wonderful son; my life was perfect._

_Then the rumors began. Intel was finding more and more information about Galactor, all of it frightening. It had originally appeared to be a minor terrorist group, like the hundreds of others across the globe, but the picture the pieces were making became more and more alarming. My missions away from home started getting longer and longer, gathering information for Kane and Nambu. It hurt to be away so often and so long, seeing the sadness in your mothers eyes every time I had to leave, and then seeing you shy away from me when I came home, not recognizing me at first because I'd been gone so long. I thought about resigning my commission several times, but your mother refused to hear of it. She told me that while she missed me while I was gone, she knew how important my assignments were and that she was proud of me for doing them. She would always say that she'd known what she was getting into when she married a military man, or a fly-boy as she used to call me, and that she didn't ever want to be the reason I left a career I'd begun long before we even met. She always said not to worry, that you and she would be fine while I was away. I loved her so much Ken. You two were my entire world. _

_However, I had to continue my work. Not just because your mother urged me to, and not just because it was my duty. But also because, as I and the other operatives were bringing back more information about Galactor, Kane and Nambu were planning for a long term defensive measure, should such a measure become needed. It was then that the first plans for the KNT project were laid out, and to my horror, Kane had begun eyeing you to lead it. Kozaburo and I both protested, but he was adamant. Even at just three years old, you already showed so much leadership potential. It was only that thought that kept me going. I was determined to find a solution before you got involved. _

_Yet I couldn't even prevent that from happening. While I was away on a mission, forming the intelligence networks we needed to obtain more information about Galactor, their operatives nearly succeededin kidnaping you and your mother. If not for Kozaburo's presence and the security forces he'd set around you both, they might have succeeded. When I heard about the attempt, I nearly killed Kane with my bare hands, I was so furious. Had they actually succeeded in capturing you, I still cannot stand to think about what might have happened. I would have moved heaven and earth to save you, but what might the end cost have been? After that, out of concern for your safety, it was decided that in order to both counter Galactor's threat to the planet, and keep my family safe, Kentaro Washio would have to die._

_My son, the decision to leave you was the most heart wrenching choice I've ever had to make. I struggled with it for weeks, trying to think of an alternate solution. To make matters worse, unlike every other major decision that had come my way since I met her, I couldn't breath a word of it to your mother. I'm certain she knew I was struggling with something, she knew me too well not to notice. But to her credit, she never said a word, never attempted to pry information about my missions out of me. She would just wait, silent but supportive, always trusting that I would make the right choice in the end. And at that time, I thought that my disappearing was the only way to keep you both safe. Leaving the house the last time, giving your mother the last embrace I ever would on this earth, hugging you one last time, nearly broke my resolve. However, though it nearly killed me to do so, I left you both to do my duty. The only thing that kept me from turning back was Nambu's promise to care for you and the hope that I would be able to keep you out of the fight. _

_I watched you grow from a distance, through the letters and pictures that Kozaburo would periodically send and at times, briefly seeing you in my comings and goings from the ISO, though you never saw me. I nearly killed Kane and Nambu both when I found out that you had been brought into the Gatchaman program. I never wanted you to be forced to grow up so soon, to have to fight a war. _

_My heart broke again when your mother became ill. The cancer took her so quickly, I could hardly believe it. You never knew it, but I did come back once, just before she died. I snuck into the hospital against Kane's orders, nearly frantic to see her. I hardly recognized her. My koishii, so frail and tired. She woke up while I was there and even though I tried to stay out of sight, she saw me anyways. I was convinced she would be furious with me, and I knew I deserved every bit of anger she might throw at me. But she only smiled at me and told me to watch over you. She fell asleep again before I could even tell her how much I still loved her, and she died soon after. The day she left this world, a part of me died as well. My son, please, when you love someone like that, and I believe you already do, do not ever hesitate to tell her how much you love her. I regret all the missed moments I might have had with Sayuri and I never want you to have to carry that same regret on your own shoulders._

_I continued to watch you from a distance, and I cannot describe how proud I was as I watched you become the man you are now. I watched you and the others become the team and family you are, and though I feared for your safety every day, I had every confidence that you would do what you had to do. You've made me proud a thousand times over my son. I only regret that I could not be at your side as you grew, and that I could not prevent your involvement in this bloody war. The fact that you had to take on such a great responsibility at such a young age and at the expense of your own childhood, is a regret I shall carry to my grave. _

_When the Kagaku Ninja Tai were activated, and you and I began fighting side by side, it brought so many conflicting emotions to my heart. I feared for your safety every time, and yet I was glad we could finally fight side by side, as comrades, if not as father and son. I remember the day we truly came face to face for the first time in nearly fourteen years, the day you chased me down in the G1 and challenged me. You reminded me so much of myself just then, it hurt. And yet, even at the most tense of moments, I could see your mother in your eyes. The times we've fought and talked together are the most precious ones of the last two years. There were several times I wanted to tell you who I truly was, especially after our discussion in my cabin a few weeks ago. Hearing you say that you didn't hold my leaving against me, brought a hope to my heart that I hadn't felt in years. And yet, I still held back, afraid that if I confessed, you would not be as forgiving of the man in front of you as you were of the man you vaguely remembered from your childhood. I regret it now my son, but I do not think that, even if given another chance, I would be able to find the courage to tell you the truth. More than anything in this world or the next, I fear your love for me turning to hatred, and it is a fear that I do not think I will ever have the courage to face. I will ask your forgiveness for that cowardice, though I do not deserve it. I've failed you as a father, I know this, but I cannot help but hope that one day you may find it in your heart to forgive me for that. The decisions I've made were made out of love for you and fear for your safety. I do not know if they were the right ones, but right or wrong, I hope you can eventually forgive me._

_I have so many hopes and dreams for you my son. They began the moment I knew you existed and they will live on even after I am gone. I dream that this war will end and that you will finally be able to live the life you deserve, with the woman you love by your side. I wish a peaceful future and long life for you, with many joys and few tears. I wish I could be there to see you live that life, to see my grandchildren come into the world. Though I will not be there in body, I will certainly be looking on from the afterlife, prouder than ever. And yes Ken, I do fully expect grandchildren after this war is over. I'm fully aware of your feelings for a certain green eyed young lady we both know. You may be able to hide it from others, even Kozaburo, but I know you my son. When you are with her, you are exactly like your mother and I were when we were young. She loves you as well. Please do not make the same mistake I did and abandon love for duty. I saw how you were when you thought you lost her once before, at your order, and I know how if feels to lose the one you love. Even though I beat you up that time, I was in pain for you my son, because I know exactly how you felt. I lost your mother to my duty and then to illness. Do not make the same mistake with Jun. Love will not weaken you, it will only make you stronger._

_Ken, my greatest wish is for you to be happy. I apologize for any wounds I may have given you in the past, as well as for any I may still inflict before this is all over. Your mother and I will be watching over you always. Always remember that I love you._

_Otosan_

Ken closed his eyes after he read the last line, finally allowing the tears he'd been holding back to slide down his cheeks. His father had always seemed so distant and cold during their missions together, it was almost strange to finally know how much he held inside. So many questions answered now, answers he wished he'd known before. And yet, even if he tried, he could no longer feel anger at his father for what he'd done. He'd sacrificed more than any of them. Placing the letter gently back in his pocket, he turned to look at the headstone, tracing the jet once more. He sighed softly and whispered, "I forgive you otosan. And I understand. Rest in peace."

Ken rose to his feet and turned around, only to stop short when he saw Jun watching quietly from the bottom of the hill. He waited as she made her way up to him, a concerned expression on his face. "Is everything alright?_"_

Jun smiled gently at him, "I was about to ask you the same question. We've been worried about you. Are you alright?"

Ken ran a hand over his hair, "Aa, I'm fine. Sorry to have worried you all. How did you find me anyways?"

Jun knelt in front of the stone, her finger tracing its carvings as Ken had earlier, "I checked the airfield and your plane was in the hanger, so I had a feeling you might be here." She looked up at him, "You sure you're ok?"

He offered a hand to help her up, "You know me too well. I'm fine, Jun. Just had a little talk with my father. He's still giving advice, even from the grave."

Jun smiled softly, "I noticed he's pretty good at that. The others are waiting for us at the J."

Ken raised a curious eyebrow at her comment but decided to wait until later to question it. Giving her the first smile he'd cracked in the last three days, he commented, "Well, I guess we better not keep them waiting."

As the two made their way down the hill, the wind whipped at their hair once again, it's once mournful wail now sounding almost like the sound of a man's pleased laughter.

The End


End file.
